When it sucks over and over again
I’m currently expanding my coaching business to include executive coaching through a partnership with Vistage International. I’m beyond excited to return to this community. I was a vistage member for a couple years while leading at FBS and I have missed the connection, the support and the challenge.
So it felt right to step into a leadership role with Vistage and chair a group here in my home city of Minneapolis.
But….building a new group is hard work!!
It’s a different type of business development than I am used to and it is challenging me in ways I did not expect.
I have to show up to the work every day when it feels like it isn’t working. Every day I have to erase what happened the day before and start again. And again. And again. It feels like I’m living in groundhog day.
I hear a lot of no’s from potential members. But no’s aren’t the worst part. No’s can be comforting. They provide closure and are an acknowledgement of my efforts. I understand that a no is to the offering, not to me.
The hard part is the void of nothingness. It’s getting no response that feels defeating.
Silence is so much harder to work through. Silence feels like complete disregard. This feels personal. Everyone hates me.
But….alas…I am a coach!!!
So I asked myself what I would ask of my clients.
“Is it helpful to think this thought? Can know it to be true? If you can’t know it to be true, can you consider a different thought that is equally unproven but at least, more helpful?
Yes. Yes I can choose.
So a couple of days ago I dug deep. The new thought became: “People are thinking about how they want to respond. It’s a big commitment and they need some time.”
Then the strangest thing happened.
The next day was a complete pivot. I did the work. And the work returned results.
I don’t think that my new thought was some voodoo magic.
I think (I know) it allowed me to look at my process more critically and approach the work in a subtly different way that made a difference.
We all have thoughts about why things aren’t working.
As a coach, I spend a lot of time with my clients helping them to explore how powerful this is.
What isn’t working for you right now? And what are you thinking about it?
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