I Want To Move
But my husband doesn’t.
Is it ok to ask for what I want even with it’s not what others want?
Here’s my current version of this situation.
6 years ago my husband and I bought a small hobby farm. We have a large garden, pigs, ducks, chickens, and acreage.
Over the years we have offered a CSA, hosted supper clubs and offered community garden space.
I was genuinely curious when we started and I headed up all of these offerings. I have pulled back on all of them.
I am still living the farm life. It is quiet and bucolic.
But for me, it’s increasingly lonely and time consuming. And there’s animal poop and dirt everywhere.
It’s a lot of work. It creates obstacles in daily life that are at times overwhelming to me.
I fantasize about a house in town near the lake. Schools and shops I can walk to seem absolutely divine.
I really want something that allows me to focus on family and this business that I love.
So this has been an evolution. I have changed. I want something different.
My husband loves our farm. It is a part of his identity. He loves his pigs and his baby chickens and would roll around in the dirt for hours.
Oneka Shores Farm is Steve’s happy place.
I get emotional thinking about how much he loves it.
And here we are…..at an impasse.
How could I possibly ask for a .25 acre city lot with neighbors and sidewalks????
But if I flip it….How could he possibly ask his wife to ignore her desires?
I cannot think of a single time that I have ever asked someone to do something for me that was definitely something they did not want.
What kind of person does that??
But why am I willing to be on the other side of this equation at the expense of what I want.
So how do I proceed??????
I am going to get coaching on it. I cannot get myself through this one without some help.
I need someone to pick apart my brain and my thoughts. I need help pulling out what part of my story is bullshit and what parts are real and actionable.
When I’m this deep in the emotions of a situation I need help from a neutral party to get perspective.
The coach needs coaching.
All people can benefit from coaching. Coaching isn’t for broken people who need a miraculous turnaround.
Coaching is for anyone with a brain and emotions.
If you would like help weeding through some of your baggage, schedule a consult.
Let’s make decisions and free up your brain so that you can enjoy life.
