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I Want To Move

But my husband doesn’t.

Is it ok to ask for what I want even with it’s not what others want?

Here’s my current version of this situation.

6 years ago my husband and I bought a small hobby farm. We have a large garden, pigs, ducks, chickens, and acreage.

Over the years we have offered a CSA, hosted supper clubs and offered community garden space.

I was genuinely curious when we started and I headed up all of these offerings. I have pulled back on all of them.

I am still living the farm life. It is quiet and bucolic.

But for me, it’s increasingly lonely and time consuming. And there’s animal poop and dirt everywhere.

It’s a lot of work. It creates obstacles in daily life that are at times overwhelming to me.

I fantasize about a house in town near the lake. Schools and shops I can walk to seem absolutely divine.

I really want something that allows me to focus on family and this business that I love.

So this has been an evolution. I have changed. I want something different.

My husband loves our farm. It is a part of his identity. He loves his pigs and his baby chickens and would roll around in the dirt for hours.

Oneka Shores Farm is Steve’s happy place.

I get emotional thinking about how much he loves it.

And here we are… an impasse.

How could I possibly ask for a .25 acre city lot with neighbors and sidewalks????

But if I flip it….How could he possibly ask his wife to ignore her desires?

I cannot think of a single time that I have ever asked someone to do something for me that was definitely something they did not want.

What kind of person does that??

But why am I willing to be on the other side of this equation at the expense of what I want.

So how do I proceed??????

I am going to get coaching on it. I cannot get myself through this one without some help.

I need someone to pick apart my brain and my thoughts. I need help pulling out what part of my story is bullshit and what parts are real and actionable.

When I’m this deep in the emotions of a situation I need help from a neutral party to get perspective.

The coach needs coaching.

All people can benefit from coaching. Coaching isn’t for broken people who need a miraculous turnaround.

Coaching is for anyone with a brain and emotions.

If you would like help weeding through some of your baggage, schedule a consult.

Let’s make decisions and free up your brain so that you can enjoy life.

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