It's OK to Disagree (Silently)
Updated: Apr 27, 2022
Seriously. You don't have to reach agreement with someone when your opinions diverge. In fact, you can just ignore it completely.
Unfortunately we spend a lot of energy and time trying to either:
Convince another person you are correct
Question your own convictions
Both of these options steal our joy and serve absolutely no purpose in the world. And I would offer that it's actually impossible (most of the time) to change someone's mind when they feel strongly about something.
I know. It sucks to think that we have no choice but to leave all the ignorant people in the world to carry on with their own opinions.
I can't help but giggle. It actually sounds crazy when we say it. How dare people have their own beliefs???!!?
I coach myself and clients to instead enter into their disagreements with a plan:
Notice when you first sense a disagreement. You will feel it in your body. You may tense up, want to immediately speak out, sigh, roll your eyes, etc.
Take a moment of stillness. And commit to listening fully.
Ask clarifying questions without intent to argue. And truly listen to the answers. You may learn something about the other person.
It seems we are hardwired to dive into an argument at this point. Hey Taurus-- I'm talking to you.
We choose to go into battle over the smallest things. Particularly when we believe that the other person isn't just holding an opinion, but is actually incorrect about facts.
Let's play out a scenario. Say your husband says "I do a lot of dishes." And you think- what?? Are you actually insane? I do dishes 17 times a day. You, husband, do not do a lot of dishes.
Now here's where I'm going to lose some of you.
If you disagree with this person's opinion or thoughts - do you need to let them know at all???? I'll put serious humanitar