Today while you are reading this, I am in a small acorn shaped hut with a couple of people I met a few weeks ago and I am tripping on psilocybin.
I will allow the dramatic pause to unfold now.
Why am I here? Who are these people? Why an acorn?
I am going to answer all of your question.
I’ll start by stating that this is deeply personal work. I chose to share not to convince, persuade, validate or instigate. I am sharing because I know that others are curious and may benefit from learning about my experience. I think it’s important to see that all kinds of people are healing in all kinds of ways.
To get a clear understanding of today, we must look backwards.
My childhood left me juggling PTSD and inherited generational trauma.
As a cycle breaker, I have worked very hard to build a safe, calm and healthy life fo myself and my family. This requires me to actively manage my mind through alternating bouts of anxiety and depression.
Therapy, mediation, supplements, exercise, meditation, sobriety {from alcohol} and breathwork are daily practices required to keep my life in check.
Some days are heavy. Some days I am overwhelmed with immense joy and peace. On any given morning, I don’t know which state will emerge.
I consider myself healthy and successful by most measures. But it can absolutely exhausting. I feel very deeply. I think deeply.
To be fully transparent, I’ve been cracking lately. It's taking more of my energy to manage my thoughts.
I have been closely following advancements and innovations in mental health care for a decade. It’s hard to ignore the data coming from the psychedelic space.
I’ll leave you to your own independent research on efficacy and morality, but after my own inquiry, I decided to engage a professional to sit with me on a psilocybin journey.
Using research as my guide, I believe that this will increase the neuroplasticity of my brain and boost serotonin function. This may take several sessions…that is tbd. This result will allow me to be in a parasympathetic state more often. From here I can live and lead more intentionally.
I also think there is something immeasurably powerful about rituals. I believe that setting an intention, preparing my mind and body, and being fully present in a ceremonial practice of healing and self-discovery is as important as the psilocybin.
Rituals can give us permission to be reborn. In fact, it’s almost expected that after this type of work we arise from the cave with vision, clarity and purpose.
Who am I to disappoint???
At this very moment I am entering the cave. Well….it’s actually an acorn. The oak tree represents strength, stability, and endurance, while the acorn represents fertility, renewal, and the promise of new beginnings. Together, they form a powerful symbol of the natural world and its enduring power.
Psilocybin and most other psychedelics are still an underground practice in most of the US.
So my guides are friends of friends. I trust them to hold space for me and support me in both my vulnerability and power.
I do hope to emerge a little softer. More open to feeling joy and closer to the world around me.
As I integrate this experience into my life, I will keep you posted. I truly look forward to how this will show up in my leadership, coaching and teaching.
May you live and LeadWell,
~E
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