I have a love/hate relationship with my body. Since I was 13 I have been an athlete. I’ve been strong. I’ve been fat. I’ve been pregnant. I’ve been skinny. I’ve attempted to burn off every calorie consumed in a day. I’ve eaten entire pies. I’ve been vegan. I’ve been a carnivore. I’ve committed. And I’ve said fuck it all.
Whatever phase I am in, one thing is certain. I have spent way too much time thinking about changing my body.
I’m pretty sure I could have written a few books, travelled the world and solved several true crimes with all that time. I certainly could have been a more attentive leader, parent and spouse.
A few years ago, I listened to a podcast by Tim Ferriss that threw me for a loop.
He said—"If you have money to solve a problem, you don’t have a problem.”
Now this flies in the face of many of my belief systems.
But I was curious.
These are the facts of the case:
1. Birthing several children has left a mark.
2. I have confirmed that not even CrossFit can change it.
3. I have money.
Well, well, well.
Looks like I could indeed apply Mr. Ferriss’s approach if I was willing to submit to a painful expensive surgery, a long recovery, and drop my ego.
I noodled on this idea for almost 3 years. I did every self-love practice I could find. I talked about it extensively with my husband. I scheduled and cancelled many appointments with plastic surgeons.
I got real. I knew that this would NOT change my life. But, I wanted to stop thinking about it all the damn time. Was that enough of a reason?
I finally decided that it was. So I ponied up the money and went under the knife 9 days ago.
My bedroom now serves as a nursing ward.
I can’t stand upright. I have tubes coming out of my body. I look and feel like complete hell.
But……..I have a flat stomach (underneath the torture corset I’m forced to wear for a month).
And I’m kinda thrilled.
It’s interesting that in order to embrace my ego’s desire to have the body I wanted, I had to drop my ego.
I’m ok with that. Like most people, I am a strange and curious blend of conflicting truths.
Are you struggling with a decision that seems out of character? Sometimes that’s ok. I can help you evaluate facts, filter your emotions, and make a decision that truly serves you.
Free up your brain from thousands of hours of unhelpful anxiety. Use that energy to grow yourself and serve your family and business effectively.
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