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Your Job Isn’t Responsible for Your Feelings

You are repsonsible for your feelings. So make a game plan.

I think we expect too much personal fulfillment from our careers.

Most people wake up and go through the motions of the day. After tending to home and family we sit at our desk and tackle our to do list.

As they day progresses we add things to tomorrow’s list and it’s a never ending cycle of doing. Even if we successfully complete the list, we often feel incomplete. Then we have thoughts like “I wish I had a job that I was more passionate about, then I would feel better.’


You won't feel better.

When we expect the job to create feelings of joy, passion and wholeness, we give away our power to create our own feelings.

You are solely responsible for creating your emotions. At work, at home, always. So how do we create our own emotions? Create a game plan every day.

A Feelings Game Plan

A game plan is usually a to do list. But I think you should also create a “To Feel” list. Here’s what I do daily.

Today I Want To Feel:

1. Accomplishment


How: I will set a meeting with my CEO to outline what we accomplished in Q3. I will share the success of the team.

2. Joy

How: I will take 10 minutes to go through my online photos of my kids and send some to be developed.

3. Appreciation

How: I will show others appreciation. I’ll call a new manager and let him know that he’s doing a great job. Appreciation is gratitude. You must show it to receive it.

4. Peace How: I will do 10 minutes of meditation at 4pm. This helps me to transition to “mom-mode’ without the baggage of work.

Then I put these actions into my calendar. Into a real spot, with real time attached.

If I do these things I am guaranteeing that my day will include these positive feelings.


I will not be asking my job to create this emotion for me. I have done it for myself. I feel better, my work is better, and I am in control.

We can always take responsibility for our own emotions.

This is how business coaching works. It’s more than quarterly plans and budgets. Our best laid plans are always at the mercy of how people show up every day.


I help employees take accountability for their emotions and this results in better performance and culture.







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